


If I Lose Myself

by barricadebutts



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: F/M, PTSD, Poor Marius, Probably set sometime after the barricade, after Cosette's father has left, but before they're married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 19:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barricadebutts/pseuds/barricadebutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Marius has an anxiety attack in a restaurant, Cosette has a little chat with him outside and tells him she'll always be there for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Lose Myself

     The stuffy room that was filled with one Parisian too many, finally became too much. Cosette had seemed to be talking to herself because it seemed that Marius was off in his own world for the time being. She hadn’t been giving him any grief about it, given that it had only been a few weeks after the barricade incident. Marius was still somewhat attempting to adapt to a life without all the people he had come to call friends.

     For the time being, Cosette was talking about a little cottage that she had visited earlier in the day that she had never wanted to leave. Marius, on the other hand, was staring at something in the distance behind her, the tough memories of his friends coming back to him once more. The healed bullet wound in his arm began to throb, and in a hurry he stood up abruptly from his seat almost knocking the chair over in the process. Cosette gave a start and watched as he picked his way through the many patrons to the exit of the café.

     A sad look found its way to Cosette’s face as she grimly stood up and followed him outside. She had learned pretty quickly that it wasn’t the best idea to leave him alone when he was feeling like this.

     Outside, Cosette found him off to the right when she came out of the large swinging oak doors. He appeared to be sitting on a bench with his head in hands. Marius’ shoulders shook as she watched him, walking slowly towards him. Cosette’s heart ached for the poor soul sitting alone. She wished desperately that things didn’t have to be this way.

     The sound of her footsteps against the brick street made him look up, his face red from crying. Cosette sat down beside him and took one of his hands in hers. They didn’t talk. She sat there stroking his hand until Marius resolved to resting his head upon her shoulder. The gesture, though small, gave Cosette hope that things would be alright and maybe eventually return to normal.

     After maybe fifteen minutes, Marius felt himself gaining his control back. The throbbing in shoulder receded and the raucous of the rifle shots in head gradually dissipated. Still, he lay with his head upon her shoulder, seeking comfort in Cosette’s steady breathing and pulse. Marius felt he owed her an apology, even though she always forgave him because of what he was going through.

     “Cosette,” he began quietly. Slightly startled at hearing him talk, she looked up at him. He reached for her other hand that was slowly stroking the back of his neck. “I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. I don’t mean to hurt you like this.”

     By now, Cosette was somewhat accustomed to his apologies and how Marius always felt horrible for running away for periods of time. “It’s not your fault Marius, and you know it. It’s not your fault that your friends met an unfortunate ending. Please don’t fret, acceptance will come in its own time.” She looked at him in the eye, urging him to see her reasoning. “Every day you get stronger. Eventually these terrors will become a thing of the past. Besides,” she took a breath, “you’ll always have me to guide you when you lose your way.” Her words calmed the shaking he wasn’t aware he was doing.

     Gently and carefully, he moved his face to face hers and placed a soft kiss upon her cheek. She smiled at him and patted his hands with finality. “We haven’t paid the café inside yet,” she murmured into his ear with a hint of amusement in her voice. She felt him smile against her cheek and stand up from the bench.

     “I’ll be right back then, won’t I?” He didn’t wait for her to answer before he was hurrying inside to apologize to the most likely distraught waiter. His dear Cosette was right. Things would become better and they would be married soon. Marius smiled at the thought as he strode back outside to his love. No matter what happened, the two of them would always be there to guide each other when they lost their way.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is actually the first Les Mis fanfiction I wrote, but I'm just now getting around to typing it and thus posting it. It's incredibly short but I still really like it.
> 
> Tell me what you think!
> 
> Tumblr: http://www.barricade-butts.tumblr.com


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